Worry not, my dear. Follow my instructions and everything will turn out just fine. Start by making sure the oven rack is centered and then set the temperature to 350. Take out a baking sheet and line it with parchment paper. Look in that drawer there next to the foil. Excellent. Don’t bother measuring. Eyeball it and tear off a piece. Put it there on the table while I wipe down the countertops. You can never be too sure your kitchen is clean before you begin a project.
Retrieve your ingredients and the remaining utensils. Grab the cup measure and the spoons from the top drawer and the largest bowl from the stack in the cupboard. Don’t forget the wooden mixing spoon… Yes, that’s the one. Pull down the flour and sugar canisters as well as the baking soda, salt, and cinnamon and take out the egg carton from the refrigerator. Now go into the pantry and bring back the unopened bag of raw almonds on the second shelft. Don’t confuse them with the roasted and salted almonds. What a terrible mess that would make.
Now that you have everything together, mix the dry ingredients into the bowl first. Two cups of flour, one cup of sugar minus a good shake, 2 tablespoons baking powder and a forth teaspoon of salt. The original recipe calls for one half a teaspoon of cinnamon but be generous here. Go wild. You can never have too much cinnamon. Now add the almonds. One and a half cups. Mix it all up. Now in a smaller bowl… Here, try this. Now in a smaller bowl, whisk together three eggs and 2 teaspoons of vanilla. Don’t let the color turn your stomach. Make a well in the dry mix and pour this in. Once it becomes too difficult to stir, use your hands. Yes, your hands. Throw that in the sink. Wash up later.
Now turn it out onto the counter and give it a good knead. You don’t know how to- Push on it and fold it over. Yes, keep doing that until the almonds stop falling out and it all comes together. Have faith. Use those muscles. See. There you go. Feel how smooth it is? Allow me to cut it in half and then you can form the logs. Don’t snicker, my dear. It’s unbecoming and dough doesn’t take kindly to being insulted. Take this half and roll it. Once it’s roughly a foot long, flatten it with the palm of your hand. Do the same to the other half. Congratulations. Now transfer them to the parchment paper and slide them into the oven. Let them bake for half an hour and then cool completely. Don’t be overly eager and cut them too early. Once they’re ready, use a sharp, serrated knife and cut across the width, forming smaller wafers. Place them all back on the baking sheet and let them cook for another 15 minutes, until they’re golden brown.
Serve them with coffee. Bon appetit.
[Author’s Notes: Kiteley’s Exercise Number Two ~ Imperative. Write a fragment of a story that is made up entirely of imperative commands… 500 words.
No entirely composed of imperatives but pretty darn close. Arthur is his usual snarky self and I’m okay with this. Also, biscotti is in fact best served with coffee. Yum.]
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